Once and Always
by Yumi Night
Summary: And that was the last I ever saw of Kai Hiwatari. The one I have loved since my childhood years. The one I still love now. And the one I will always love in my years to come. Now and Forever. Once and Always. The final Chapter. Pls read and review.
1. Forget me not

Once and Always By: Yumi Night 

**Disclaimers:** I don't own any of the characters in this story save for my own characters. I am in no way being paid to write this.

**Author's Notes:** Sorry about the previous version of this story. I sort of had problems with it. I trust this will be better. Anyway, let's just forget about that. 

This is a story from my other fic, _Heartless bastard._ Hope you people enjoy it and review. So, here I bid my usual read, review, and enjoy.

**Warnings: **This chapter's done in Kai's point of view, ok? 

**Chapter 1:**

**___________**

**Forget me not**

"I hate you, grandfather! I'll hate you forever!" A five-year-old Kai yelled back as he slammed the double oak doors of his grandfather's study.

The little boy run as fast as his little feet could carry him. In and out of the shadows of the old mansion, he ran, tears streaming freely down pale cheeks. Finally, after a few minutes of breathless hurry, he reached his only refuge. His room. He jumped up on his neatly made bed, sending pillows and coves askew in his rush to bury himself in it and hopefully drown himself in a fresh deluge of tears.

"I hate you! I hate you, grandfather!" He yelled aloud again, his voice muffled as he sobbed harder into his pillows. How he wished his mother was here to comfort him, hug him and say it was alright, to assure him of the inevitable, to make him feel at ease. But no, she was not here to do all those things. From now on he had to do everything on his own. He had no one now. He'd have to face life alone. All alone.

Somehow, this reality made him cry even harder, if it was possible. He grasped his pillows to him so tight that he thought he'd rip them apart if this continued.

"Kai…?" He heard a soft, gentle voice from the door. Half hoping to see his beloved mother, he turned only to find his 'mother' three to four feet shorter and a whole lot younger too, clutching a glass of water in one hand, in the other a box of soft tissue paper.

With a slight smile of reassurance, she approached him and carefully laid the drink down on his bedside table.  He stared at her for another second, trying to make out who this person was. Her face was covered by the darkness around the room, the only thing that was bright enough to glimpse was her eyes. Her beautiful golden-brown eyes that seemed to shine in the darkness enveloping everything in the room. She handed him the box of tissue.

"Thanks." He muttered tonelessly, his voice hoarse from all his yelling and crying. He slowly dabbed his eyes, sniffling a bit more afterwards. She still sat there, saying and doing nothing.

"Do you still feel like crying?" She asked in a hushed voice of concern.

"I don't know." He simply replied, staring back at her, wondering who she was.

"If you want, I can hold you." The girl said uncertainly, looking away for the moment as she waited patiently for a reply.  

Kai opened his mouth, but closed it in his confusion. Slowly, he bent over and rested his head on her lap, wrapping his arms timidly around her narrow waist. She smiled and in turn, placed her hands on his back, soothing his frantic nerves by slowly massaging his shoulders. He sagged against her and fell into strained slumber. 

"It's all right, Kai." She muttered before leaving him in his sleep. "I will always be with you. I promise."

~~~~

I woke up, sweat dripping down my forehead. What was that all about?! I shook my head nearly three times just to clear my head. This was not like me. Not like me at all. I decided. 

I headed to the bathroom for a slight shower and a change of clothes, still thinking.

I stared around my dark room in silence. I was back home. No more Tyson and his goody-two-shoes pals around me. No more of their childish antics to put up with. But then, no more anything else either. I concluded, glancing once more at my empty room.

I was all alone alright. Just how I've always thought I wanted it. But somehow, why do I feel so…empty…? 

I wanted to punch myself GOOD this time. What am I saying? That stupid dreams really eating me. I'd better go down and get something to eat before my old man wakes up and suddenly decides to give a morning call on me…the bastard…

~~~~

So here I go, off to the kitchens. It was really dark, that I can say. Unlike upstairs, the kitchens had no lights or anything. No windows even. What kind of a stupid kitchen is this?!

Well, I came for food and I WILL have my food! My god, I'm sounding just like Tyson right about now. Shit…that kid's getting to me…I can't be…missing him? Feh…damn…

So, back to this little problem of mine. Now I know why grandfather has all these servants just to prepare the food. It'd take some heck of a miracle to find the ref in this damn room! I shuffled around some more, bumping around several times onto chairs and other…stuff.

"Shit." I cursed out loud as I tripped on something sticking out on the floor. What the hell was that?!

"Ahem. Excuse me." I heard someone say. Now this was really getting on my nerves. I stood 

up to glare at whoever that was…if I could only see him…or her…or whatever.

"Who is it?!" I managed to growl. Of course, I was trying not to look like a complete fool in front of whoever that was but hell! How was I supposed to do THAT?

"Is…it you, Kai?" A tiny voice answered. I had to strain my ears just to hear her. Yes, it was a her.

"Who is it?" I replied, lowering my voice a notch. I'm no punk. I know enough not to raise my voice to a girl…no matter who it was.

"Kai…" I heard again in a small whisper. What was it with this girl!? Must she speak so softly every time?! I fought to control my temper.

"Yes. Who are you?" I repeated. Damn it! I was sounding like a stupid recorder. Couldn't she just answer the damn question for once?!

"Kai…" she said again, louder this time at least. Okay, so this was getting really…stupid. I decided to give up asking who she was and reverted my attention to finding the door out of this prison, dismissing the thought of attempting to save my pride. It wasn't as if she could see me anyway…

I turned and walked a couple of paces forward when I bumped into her, sending both of us to the floor. I recovered from the fall quick enough, but it was then I realized I was on top of something soft. I quickly got to my feet, hoping I didn't crush her with my weight. Yup, she was that…tiny…to say the least. Well, at least I felt that part…

"Sorry." I muttered tonelessly, sticking out a hand to help. She took my hand and got up.

"Thanks." She said, I couldn't really make sure, but I could tell she was smiling at me.

She let go of my hand and walked away somewhere into the darkness. I waited for a few minutes when suddenly, a dim yellowish light erupted throughout the room, lighting it reasonably.

I could see now. She stood across the room, still smiling straight at me. I stared back, brow raised.

"Kai, welcome to the servant's kitchens." She muttered loud enough for me to hear. What? We now have a servant's kitchen? All right. All this was now starting to make sense. So that's why it lacked…windows and lights. Shit. I'm getting dumber by the minute it seems.

"Would you like me to get you something, my lord?" She said, giving me a slight bow. Great, so I don't even know if she was some new maid or something…I just stared at her. She had long straight black hair to the waist, tied up loosely at her nape; a bunch of her hair escaped the bonds and showed visibly at the sides of her face. Yes, she was small, well…compared to me…not short though, just slender. 

She cocked her head to one side waiting for my answer as I soon realized, reverting my attention back to the question. I slowly nodded. She paced across the room to me and stopped just as she was a few inches from my face.

"Kai, do you really want me to get you something in here?" I didn't know what to say to her so I just kept quiet and glared, hoping not to embarrass myself anymore today. She gave me another one of those mysterious smiles of hers. God, I hate it when she does that…

"I'll go get you something from the kitchens down the hall." She said, turning her back on me as she walked to the door and out of sight. I clenched my fist angrily and followed her out the door.

Who was that girl anyway?!

TBC… 

****

**Author's Ending Notes:**

So, how was that? Do you want a second chapter??? Well you'll get a second chapter like it or not anyway! ^-^ Neways, what name would you guys suggest I give her? Only, I'm running low on names here. I'd do me a lot of help if you guys will do me that little favor. Thank ye! Thank ye! Okay, so review!!! See ya in the next chapter!    


	2. Strife

Once and Always 

**Disclaimers:** I don't own Kai, his grandfather, Tyson, or his grandfather, Max, or his parents…do you really want me to enumerate them all??? Let's just conclude that…I don't own them and save a lot of time shall we???

**Author's Notes: **Took a while with this…doesn't normally take me this long to finish. It's quarter exam week…again…*sighs* Oh joy. 

Hmm, all the names you guys suggested were pretty good. Stick around to find out what her name is!!! Yay! Let's get it on then! Read, review, and enjoy!

**Warnings: **This chapter is in **her** point of view. Hope I didn't disappoint you! 

**Chapter 1:**

**_________**

**Strife**

I watched behind my back at the boy behind me. I would say I'm kinda proud to see him all grown up. In fact, I almost cried when I saw him again after so long. I threw another glance at him. He was glaring at the floor as usual. It didn't use to be like this. 

I remember…

A long time ago…

~~~~

"Kai! You monster! Get back here!" A little girl yelled as she chased another child across a huge study room filled with heavy encyclopedias of all sorts stacked up onto the shelves all around the room. 

The little boy looked back at the girl chasing after him, not knowing he was about to hit his grandfather's mahogany desk in his hurry. Just as he was about to smirk, he felt himself collide with the desk, sending him to the floor on all fours. He rubbed his head with a little hand, still clutching a bright red bow.

"Hey! Are you okay???" The little girl said, peering curiously at him with much concern. He flashed her a toothy grin in response.

"Yup!" He replied sticking out his tongue and handing her the red ribbon he'd playfully snatched a minute ago.

"Humph! Serves yoouuuu right!" She pouted prettily, snatching the ribbon from him.

Unceremoniously, he jumped her afterwards and recovered the offending piece of cloth from her again, running across the room before she could retaliate. 

~~~~

I smiled as the memory passed. He's changed so much from the playful kid then. Now he's…

I couldn't think of the word for we had already reached the master kitchen. I pulled the door open and waited for Kai. He stopped as soon as he was beside me and shot me another one of his glares. He was probably hoping I'd be intimidated like all the others he's tried that stunt on. 

As if. 

I'd show him I've changed too. I wasn't that same little girl who couldn't catch up to him before. I was going to show him I was just like him. That I've changed.

"Well?" He raised a brow at me. 

I stepped into the kitchen and walked the few paces to the counter to prepare his breakfast. I had been working like this for his grandfather ever since my parents died…my brother could not support me and begged Lord Hiwatari to take me. He told my brother he'd do it as a 'favor'. I never would have imagined then that my best friend's own kin would take advantage of me…then.

Okay, so I guess that was perfectly fine with me. After all, I still had Kai around and I knew he wouldn't leave me. Wrong. The week after, he himself, told me he was leaving for Russia. Of course he said this in tears, with me also crying. He promised me he'd come back and that no matter what he wouldn't forget me. Lies.

Here he comes, ten years later. I accompanied Voltaire to watch these 'Beyblade Tournaments'. I still did not give up the thought of finally seeing him again after all these years. Imagine my shock when I saw HIM playing on the wide screen. 

I approached him right after that match. It was in the lockers. I told him I'd missed him so much. I even told him I'd waited for this day the whole time. And after pouring my heart out, he _asked me who the hell I was!_

I didn't want to believe my best friend had forgotten me. I would never allow myself that truth. It was too painful. I watched him bey battle his way to victory each time he came up. I watched him smile, smirk, laugh, frown, scowl…everything. Until I couldn't stand it anymore. I came up to him again when the last tournament was held. Yes, in Russia. I met him right after he played and lost. 

I was going to offer my sympathy but instead he gave me this question. "Who are you?"

It hurt me. Just knowing he forgot me. He forgot his promise and everything it meant to me. I was nearly numb with pain. From that day on, I sweared to myself not to ever shed a tear for him. Not to vie for his attention. 

Still, a small part of me hopes that someday he'll remember and come back to me. It is a fool's dream. I concluded. He doesn't even know me now. We don't know each other anymore. 

Unknowingly, I set Kai's plate down the table with a loud thud and food scattered all around. His poker face dissolved behind a frown as he surveyed me with distaste, I could tell.

"What are you doing?" He asked, approaching me.

"I just served you breakfast." I replied sweetly, smiling despite my chagrin.

"Humph." He retorted and sat down to eat anyway. I held the serving tray to my chest to receive any harsh insults from him about my cooking but after several minutes passed without so much as a grunt, I passed it off as approved. I turned to leave when he suddenly caught my arm. I faced him.

"You still haven't answered my question." He demanded, putting his fork down as he stared up at me. 

"What?" I said, pretending I had no idea of what he was asking. For some reason, I found his arrogance very annoying lately. 

"Who are you?" He repeated tersely.

"Me?" I echoed, putting a finger to my chin. 

"Quit the innocent act. You know what I mean." He tightened his grip on my arm as he continued. "Who-are-you?" 

I glared at him in open hostility. I wouldn't show him I was weak to further flatter his already huge ego. He glared back and tightened his grip some more hoping for me to squeal or plead with him for release. I did neither.

"I'd love to spar with you like this, but I have chores." I said in a clipped tone, jerking my arm sharply from his grasp. He leaned back on his chair, staring at me in disbelief. Before he could even honor me with another glare, I left. 

I forced myself to smile even when I felt unshed tears welling up in my eyes. I would not give him the pleasure of seeing me cry. Not now, not ever. He was going to find out first hand on how painful it really is to be forgotten. 

I swear it.

TBC… 

****

**Author's Ending Notes:**

Again, it's kind of short. Things have to kick up if I'm going to ever exceed five pages. Neways, still haven't decided on a name. I need more names!!! Well, I admit I liked Kanshisha, Ciara, and Cyrena. Wow, all starting with the "C" sound…Well, I guess Aiko is also good…Aaaah! I can't decide!!! If you guys've come up with better names, I'm open to them! ^-^ Thanks to all those that reviewed! Glad you liked the fic too! Please review! Be back with chapter three soon! 


	3. Bitter Vengeance

Once and Always 

**Disclaimers:** I don't own any of the characters in this story save for my own characters. I am in no way being paid to write this.

**Author's Notes: **Ahh! Back again with chapter three! Whee! -_-X Uhm, okay. I've got good news today!!! I've finally decided on a suitable name for her! It's nice! ^-^ 

Thank you for your wonderful suggestions!!! I liked them all…save for the…weirder ones…I guess, but they were great! Stick around to find out! Read, review, and enjoy!!!

**Warnings: **This chapter's done in Kai's point of view again. Are you aware of the pattern this is taking?

**Chapter 3: **

**______________**

**Bitter Vengeance**

I stiffened as she successfully wrenched her arm out of my grasp and leave. Boy, was I angry! I slammed my fork and spoon down onto the oak table and pushed back my chair to leave.

I walked briskly to my room and slammed the door shut. Who did she think she was?! If she was just some new servant, she would pay dearly for embarrassing me, with or without an audience!

I sat on my bed to brood a little more when I realized somebody had cleaned. My shirt was no longer scattered on the floor. My desk had papers neatly stacked and the surface was newly polished.

Wait…desk? I never knew I had a desk, actually. Since when did I ever have one? Did my stupid grandfather actually CARE enough to give me one? 

I walked over to it and looked it over. It was very old. The cabinet handle was loose and the fine wood badly scraped. The wood was chipped in various places and the carvings on the side very dusty. 

I shrugged and took a seat on the chair anyway. Looks like I had it all wrong. My grandfather DID care to put a desk all right. A very old, broken one maybe, but it is something nonetheless.

"My! Whatever is my lord doing here???" Came a soft voice filled with pretended shock, I could tell. I turned and glared at my intruder. It was THAT GIRL again. As if I wasn't pissed off enough with her already. Did she have some kind of death wish for come seeing me in person or what?!

"Get out!" I barked and stood up, crossing my arms in my best way of intimidation. Fear, I decided, was a very good way to get respect at first glance.

She didn't budge.

"I would, my lord. But it would be kind of odd if you were to order me to get out of MY own room." She said, folding her arms across her chest.

I was dumbstruck. What?! How could this possibly be HER room! This must be some kind of fluke she did just to embarrass me more! 

"Prove it." I managed to growl.

For the first time this whole morning, she broke into a genuine grin. She quickly covered the distance between us in four long strides and stared into my face as soon as she was mere inches from me.

 "As you wish." She said, shrugging. She walked over to MY bathroom and as I followed her inside, she opened one of my drawers. 

I was getting ready to laugh my head off as soon as I proved her wrong, but instead I moved back in utter…shame.

There she stood, holding up her UNDERWEAR to my face! I could feel the rush of heat on my face as she walked closed to me, still holding up her…stuff.

"Well? Aren't you going to inspect it? After all, it might be YOUR'S and it's ME who's got the wrong room after all." She stated so obviously as if it were the most natural thing in the world for me to do.

I couldn't take it anymore. I looked away, trying hard to hide my blush. This was so unlike me. I never blush. Never.

I heard her sigh and put the offending garment away. She came up behind me and waited for me to look back at her. I didn't dare. Instead, I marched to the door to leave. 

"Wait Kai!" I hear her call. I turned my head back to glance at her, expecting to find her laughing her head of at my stupidity, but when I looked back, I saw neither laughter or mocking triumph in her eyes.

"What?!" I snapped.

"I-I…" She stammered. What was her deal? She just successfully humiliated me again and she seemed like she was GOING TO CRY???

I turned fully this time. Why the hell was she going to cry?! 

"Kai, I…" She started again, but couldn't finish.

"I'm leaving." I said finally, closing the door behind me. Maybe I was too harsh the first time and I deserved every bit of humiliation. 

I waited outside her door for any sign of that girl bursting into tears, I head none. I half wanted to peer inside to see what she was doing, but I stopped myself. I didn't know why I felt so…close to her.

I shrugged the thought away and continued to my own room. Making sure this time I had the right one. The one without a desk.

As I walked into my room, I caught sight of a note on my bed. I walked up to it and quickly unfolded the white stationary. It was a letter. I started to read it. 

~~~~

_Kai, I hate you. I really do. I don't care that it's unfair. I don't even want to listen to you anymore. It sickens me when I see people look at you. I am even more sickened when I see myself look at you. I'll admit solemnly to one fact though, I loved you from even the first time I saw you._

_When I first laid eyes on you was my dreadful mistake. I shouldn't have done it. Because…I'll admit, to this very day, the image of your smile, frowns, scowls, smirks…are all in my head. Up till this very day. No matter how hard I try to forget it, it won't let me. Just as I know YOU wouldn't. _

_Oh how you wouldn't. Wouldn't free me from this inhumane torture of longing. Longing to see your face every day. I hate it. It just reminds me of how much I hate you…and love you just the same._

_What am I saying? Love? You would not know of even what it meant. You always reminded me of the hatred you felt for me, not the love. Never the love. You wouldn't even admit this to yourself._

_You are just a selfish bastard. A heartless backstabbing hell of a bastard. I can say as much as that. For all I know, you might be cursing me right now. In that logical head of yours. I'll bet no ones ever dared to say this to your face. I'll bet you made sure they'd never think of hating you. Or maybe you have? It just shows how cold-hearted a devil you are._

_I wanted to stop this feeling of love. I hated it. It was like poison. Spreading slowly through out my body until I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to stop this torture, so I came to you. I wanted so much to slap the smirk of that handsome face. _

_Imagine my surprise when I told you just that with one stare. And gods of all gods, you laughed! You mocked this love I felt and walked away. From that time on, I hated you. Hated you from the very bone. From the deepest reaches of my soul._

_Let's face it! You earned this! You wanted me to hate you. Even if you knew I'd never be able to do it. _

_That's when you decide to make your move, wasn't that right. You smoldered me with lots of your pretended affections and toyed with my feelings to your wicked heart's content. _

_"Let's be together forever." You said to me ever so endearingly one night. I remember that at least, you deceitful little bastard. I had believed it then. I was so naïve. Naïve enough to have fallen for that old trick. You had me then, didn't you? Thought you had me eating at the palm of your hand? Wrong. _

_Surprised? The great and mighty Kai, wrong? I'm mistaken aren't I? I'm mad you say? Insane to the most? I could have laughed. I wish I could see the look on your perfect face right now. _

_Oh, and by the way, don't skip the part you ditched me. Please. Flatter yourself with how easily I was caught by you. And also how easily you forgot about me._

_You left me, Kai. Left me with your tyrant grandfather whose only purpose in life seemed to be too entirely preoccupied with my personal torture. Still, you didn't care. You left me in his care anyway. Oh how I loathe you…_

_After your pretended struggle to leave me then, I remember. That's right. I **do** remember that time. Even if we were only four years old then. You left me for that abbey in Russia, leaving me alone with YOUR grandfather who I had to live with. But I already told you about that part._

_Ten years later, here you come into the scene. I tried to talk to you during the tournaments. Tried to ask what had really happened to you. I tried to warn you how much your grandfather had changed. That he no longer deserved your love. What did you do to me then? You ignored me. Told me to leave you be. Even if I did then, I never would have believed you'd forgotten me. Us. How could you? You heartless bastard. _

_I returned while you were alone in the lockers, getting ready to do battle. I hadn't realized then that you had changed too. Just like Lord Hiwatari had. I tried to ask you why you were treating me as if you didn't know me. You didn't even care to reply. You just stared into my face like I was some kind of spectacle. That took the cake, Kai. That's when I finally realized you HAD forgotten me. _

_This realization made me numb with pain. You could have slapped me and it would have hurt a whole lot less. That's just a glimpse of what you had done to me. Of how much you destroyed me with your aloofness._

_That is why I must now forget you too. No matter how much it hurts me to do so. I will forget you. _

_Yes, forget you. Forget all the laughs we shared as kids. Forget how we used to bicker over who would get to read the comic book first. Argued endlessly on who would crush the other's blade. Also of how we used to snuggle together in your bed whenever there was a storm and how much you stood up for me when the other kids were making fun of me. I miss you Kai. I don't want to forget. Even if you have._

_I don't want to talk about this anymore, for I don't want to drown you in all my sorrows. Just know, Kai, you will forever hold a special place in my empty heart. I love you._

~~~~

I don't know why, but at the end of the letter, my eyes burned with unshed tears. Her words struck me hard somewhere. I tore up the letter and dropped the pieces to the floor in disgust. 

As I stood up to wash my eyes, one piece in particular caught my eye. I reluctantly picked it up and stared down at the three letters.

"I…love you too…" I whispered, not even paying attention to what I was saying as I held onto it with a clenched fist.

TBC… 

***

**Author's Ending Notes:**

Hmm…should this be the end? Yes? No? Actually, that letter was from _Heartless Bastard._ Pretty sad, no? Yeah…neways, should I continue??? You want a chapter four??? Oh yeah, and the name thing…I decided, if this is the end, I won't mention a name. You name her whatever you want to. So, please review! Ciao! 


	4. Fantasy or Reality

Once and Always 

**Disclaimers:** I don't own any of the characters, places, or things…well, maybe the things and my own characters.

**Author's Notes:** Well, since most of you requested a chapter four…ta-da! Here I am! Back again with chapter four of Once and always!!! Are you happy now? Yay! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest to come!!! Haha! So, without further a due, here's chapter four of Once and Always!!! Read, review and enjoy everyone!

**Warnings: **Her point of view. From now on, it'll be his after hers and hers after his. Hope it doesn't confuse you.

**Chapter 4: **

**_____________**

**Fantasy or Reality**

I stood in the middle of my room. I could feel my heart beating. I could feel myself hyperventilating, but I didn't care. I just stood there like an idiot for some time.

I wonder if he found my letter. I wonder if I had said everything that needed to be said. I wonder what he thought of when he read past all the lines. I wonder if he hated me for it. 

I choked at my thoughts, forgetting the whole time to breath. I wanted to take back that letter. I never should have left it in his room. I never should have given it to him. Bitter regret washed over me. I shouldn't have done it. 

I shook my head once to clear my thoughts. He doesn't remember me. He won't remember me. Ever. Even if he did read my stupid letter. It wouldn't change what he feels for me. Even if I did pour my heart out at him, he wouldn't care. 

I gave the thought a rest. After all, there was a whole new day ahead of me. I could use all my chores to cover what I feel and hope it stays covered. Forever. 

I left the sanctuary of my room and went back down to do some laundry. I can forget about that letter and about kai along the way. 

I went down around four flights of stairs and continued down several different corridors. I deliberately took the long way around to sooth my thoughts. Can't work with a messed up head. As Voltaire would say anyway.

I was walking down the last passage when I suddenly heard a familiar voice calling me from behind. 

I panicked for a second, thinking it might be Kai. Maybe he searched me out to talk to me about my stupid letter. And to think I hoped to forget about it…

So anyway, I turned and pasted on my famous mysterious smile. It got me out of most things anyway, so I stick to it in these kinds of cases.

Was it Kai stalking behind me? No, thank goodness. But it was nearly as bad. It was Lord Hiwatari himself. He was standing almost a mile away from me I think, with his hands behind his heavy black cloak.

"Come here." He grunted at me. I hated the way he always bossed me around. Sometimes he didn't even treat me like a human being. I hated him for it. Of course, I had enough sense not to say that to his face. I was, after all, living in HIS house.

I complied and went inside his bedroom. Yes, his bedroom. I've had a lot of unpleasant memories in this room. Some of which are too…inhuman to enumerate. 

He shut the door behind him like he always did when he called me in for one of these so called 'talks'. He sat down on his big armchair opposite the door where I stood and began to talk.

"Have you met Kai?" He stated casually. Great, I am trying to AVOID Kai and he casually brings up the topic! But I couldn't very well say THAT to him, so I nodded instead.

"Good. How did he react?" He stated again with a faint smile touching the sides of his lips. I hate it when he does that. Another reason why I hate Voltaire. Anyway, since I needed to be polite, I replied.

"He was very…indifferent about it." I stated back, masking the anger and hurt I felt by my civil tone. He leaned back in his chair and was silent for a while. 

"It's too bad." He said after a while later. I almost jumped at the sound of his voice, too absorbed in my own thoughts. He continued. "And to think I was going to ask him to escort you in my upcoming masquerade party."

I stared at him. What? This can't be real. He was actually being nice? Wait…rewind and freeze please.

Okay…He knew I was waiting for Kai. In short, he knew I had…feelings for Kai before. In fact, that's why he sent Kai to Russia. That much I know now. I didn't blame Kai. I knew it was his stupid grandfather's entire fault. I also knew he hated me from the very beginning. If so, why is he making an effort to be nice to me by putting Kai with me? It didn't make sense.

I realized I'd been gaping at Voltaire this entire time and I quickly recovered from my daze. I answered the first thing that popped into my head.

"W…What party?" I said faintly, raising a brow in question.

"A masquerade party I'm holding this Wednesday night. All my foreign business contacts will be there. Of course you can expect there won't be only old people. I believe they thought it'd be very educational for their own sons and daughters to experience being with other people."

He paused for a moment, giving me time to contemplate. So it was one of his business parties then? He was holding a lot of these now. Obviously afraid all his big money generating pals would desert him if they found out he was…caught trying to take over the world…

"I expected you and Kai to be there of course." He stated after a while. He crossed his arms and stared at me a moment before continuing. "Well?"

"It's fine I guess." I shrugged and left his room. Inside though, it wasn't fine at all. After all that drama only on our FIRST morning together, I couldn't imagine what could happen if we spent the WHOLE NIGHT together at some stupid party.

Oh well, what's done is done. I'll just have to avoid him till that day and hope for the best. After all, how hard could it be to dance with someone you used to love? 

I'd find out soon enough…

**TBC…**

****

**Author's Ending Notes:**

Hehehe…hehehe…Well that should be fun…find out how this develops. It should be an interesting read. Oh yeah! *slaps forehead* The name!!! I forgot it again!!! Argh! Oh well…keep the suspense on I guess. A little suspense always goes a long way. I'll give you a clue…her name starts with either a 'C' or an 'S'. Hope that tidbit gave you enlightenment! Neways, please drop me a review!!! See you in chapter five…soon!!! Yay! Yay! 


	5. Truce or Duel

Once and Always 

**Disclaimers: **I don't own them. I've said it once, I am not going to say it again.

**Author's Note:**Back again with chapter five! Hurray! I know I've been kinda slacking with this fic, but hey! I still keep updating right? Neways, this should be an interesting read. I made it a tad bit longer than usual and yes, will finally reveal her name. After all this waiting…you finally get to know her name!!! Yay! Well, just read, review, and enjoy!****

**Warnings: **In Kai's POV. Remember the last P.S. note? This is the last time I'll be saying this.

**Chapter 5:**

**____________**

**Truce or Duel**

It was some time before I realized I was still holding this useless piece of paper in my hand. I wasn't paying attention at all to what I was saying, but I knew I said something. Why was I acting so…strange all of a sudden? That girl…who the heck is she? Why do I feel…close to her?

I gave myself a shake. Nonsense. I dropped the crumpled paper into a trash bin. As if I cared. I hardly know the girl. In fact, I don't even know her name. This is stupid. Making a fuss over something like this. 

I dropped on my bed and lay there for some time, staring blankly at the ceiling with my arms crossed behind my head when I heard a knock from the door. I didn't bother getting up.

"What is it?" I asked irritably.

The door slowly creaked open and guess who of all people would come strolling in? It was my stupid grandfather all right. I sat up as he glared at me in disapproval.

"Kai! What have you been doing? I gave you a call to see me in my room." He snapped at me, but I could tell he didn't seem all that angry about it as usual for some reason. I gave it a shrug and replied in a monotone.

"No one told me you were calling." 

"Really? I see…" He said, eyeing me suspiciously. "Well if that's the case, I will tell you now."

"Tell me what?" I replied, crossing my arms. I knew he was up to something again as usual, if not he wouldn't even be bothered to come tell me anything.

"About the masquerade I will be holding here in a few days." He said, still keeping his suspicious eyes on me. There was a long period of silence afterwards, giving me time to think things over. 

So, grandfather was going to hold another one of his 'parties'. Probably afraid once his business partners learned of his dire circumstances, they'd leave him like the few who already did. I smirked at this.

"What do you think, Kai?" He snapped at me, stopping my thoughts. 

"Whatever." I shrugged again. It was no big deal. He was holding a lot of these nowadays and of course, he ordered me to attend every one of it so he could show me off to his big pals and their rich brats. This, I guess, was no exception.

"Oh good then." He said at once. Was it my imagination or did he actually seem happy? "Your Rena will be very happy to hear that." 

"What…do you mean?" I gaped. What was he talking about? He smirked at me and turned to leave. 

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" He stated, shutting the door behind him as he left.

What was that all about?! Shit! I hate him! I stomped across my room to the door and left. I was getting to the bottom of this no matter what! Whoever that girl was, she would pay! 

~~~~

I marched myself down to the kitchens. The servant's kitchen. I slammed the doors shut behind me as the people turned to look.

I ignored them and approached some lady with an apron. 

"M-Master Kai? Do you need anything?" She muttered as I came close. I noticed every damn person in the room looming over me, hanging onto my answer. Great, just what I need.

"Do you know a girl named…Rena?" I asked softly and firmly. I wanted to get this over with quick. So far, I concluded, this is the worst day of my life. And it wasn't even half through yet.

"Rena?" She replied, looking a bit shocked. So did all the others, I noticed, as I looked around. 

I waited for quite a while before anyone said anything. What is it with them??? I just want to know who'll ruin what's left of my life, is that so much to ask???

"Rena…is doing the laundry right now." The lady said softly, pointing over to a wooden door to my left. 

I stared at the door for a moment. Well, this is it. All I have to do was be as mean to her as possible and hope that she hated me enough by the end of today to draw back her…invitation to dance with me. I turned to thank the lady when I noticed they were all gone. Weird…

I shrugged it off and pushed the door open. 

~~~~

Warm light of the sun greeted me. I was standing on a cliff overlooking the horizon.  White sheets were being hung out to dry as bubbles floated from somewhere near the edge. I walked towards the mass of bubbles.

She had her back to me, her long raven hair spilling out behind her. Yeah, a pretty picture all right. From the back at least. I closed my eyes as I leaned on a tree nearby and cleared my throat.

She stopped what she was doing and snapped her head around. I opened my eyes…and almost choked when I saw her face! 

My god! It was HER all along! Shit!

So here I was, gaping at her like a goddamned idiot while she stared at me like…something. I quickly recovered my daze and glared my famous glare. She seemed to calm down too.

"What," she began softly, "are you doing here?"

I couldn't find a voice to speak. What was wrong with me all of a sudden? I shook my head a couple of times.

"What are you doing here?" She repeated again. I swear, the way she was staring at me…and that tone of voice…I have to admit, it was…scary.

"So…you're Rena?" I replied.

"Rena? Since when have we been on nickname basis, Mr. Hiwatari?" She countered, raising a brow at me.

"What do you mean by that?!" I snapped back. Okay, now I know this was very…mean of me to do…but how else was I supposed to react to her…I dunno…formality?

"My name is Ciara. Rena is short for Serena, which is my middle name. I think you have the wrong person though." She said, visibly enjoying my chagrin. This girl seemed to have a knack for humiliating me. I smirked evilly as an idea popped into my head. An idea of finally getting her back.

"No, I think I have the right person. Only someone as brazen as you are would ever invite a guy to a dance." My smirk widened into a grin as she stared up at me in shock. If she thinks she can just do anything with me, she's got another thing coming.

I stood there, smugly leaning on my tree as she had her head lowered to the floor, probably too ashamed to even face me. That's just what she deserves. I smiled for the first time this whole day. Maybe it wasn't such a bad day after all.

"I…never asked you to dance. Your grandfather," She said looking up at me with brown eyes glowing with suppressed anger, "ordered me to."

I was so surprised I could hardly reply. It amazed me how much self-restraint she had. Wow. What most bothered me was that I realized that I was…being mean. Actually, I was mean to her from the start. I guess…it was my fault that she happened to retaliate by embarrassing me. It made me fell…well…sorry.

"Well," she said suddenly after a while, snapping me out of my thoughts, "I think it's your turn to be mean to me now."

I blinked at her a couple of times and it registered to me that she was giving me a chance to get back at her for that. Wow again. She was being…fair? I didn't feel sorry for her anymore…I was feeling guilty. I bit back the insults threatening to roll out my tongue and smiled at her.

"No, I think we're about even." I replied, she looked up at me and smiled back. Gee, what was the world coming to? I can't remember the last time I ever smiled like this…

We stared at each other for a few more seconds before she looked away. I stood there, still staring. I guess my meanness was the thing that…well, made us enemies in the first place. I started to talk before my brain registered what I was about to say.

"I'm sorry for being mean." I heard myself say in a clipped tone. I followed it up with a slight offer of my hand. "Maybe I can make it up to you by asking you for a dance in the upcoming masquerade?"

She turned her stunned eyes to me with a slow smile creeping up to her face. She took my hand with her soapy ones and stood up.

"I guess that's pretty fair of you." She said and headed back to the house still smiling and said something back at me before stepping in.

"I accept then." 

TBC… 

****

**Author's Ending Notes:**

Well! I guess I can say this chapter was all talk and not much action. Boring? Is it? Anyway, I can assure you that the next part will be FAR more interesting! It's the night of the masquerade already? Hang around and see for yourself! Please review me! I really appreciate it if you do!!! ^^ Well, see you people in _chapter six, Waltz for the Moon_!


	6. Waltz for the Moon

Once and Always 

**Disclaimers: **(look at the previous chapters please!)

**Author's note:**Okay, I'm back again with chapter six! Yay! I've been kinda preoccupied lately with my other story, _The Arrogant One._ I'm currently working on chapter eight and am kind of pressured over here. It's my longest attempted chapter yet. Hopefully, this one will reach out to be that long too. (Though I doubt it ^^) 

Anyway, it's a Tala/Marron fic; do you seriously want to read that? *shrugs* Oh well, try and stop by sometime and check it out anyway when you have the time. (Maybe drop a review or two for me? *hint**hint*) So with the babble done and over with, here's my usual read, review, and enjoy!

**Warnings: **TBC means 'To be continued'.

**Chapter 6:**

**______________**

**Waltz for the Moon**

I tried to look as passive as I could as I marched past the gawking kitchen staff around me to the empty corridors. I soon realized my lungs were aching from the lack of air. I had been holding my breath without realizing it. I quickly exhaled and looked around reflexively.

I can't believe Kai actually had the guts to come apologize to me. He not only apologized, he wanted to make up for it. Did this mean he had never really changes as much as I thought he did?

I lifted my nose in the air and stomped away. 

I was starting to hate Kai more and more today. By being nice, he did something none of his glares or insults ever did. He made me feel…sorry about the way I was acting around him. It was slowly eating away my resolution to NOT love him anymore.

I stopped dead in my tracks and stared angrily at the carpeted floor. 

This was all so confusing. I was confused about what I really felt. No matter how hard I tried to…I couldn't stop loving Kai. Why? Was it really so hard to do? 

It wasn't fair. 

You love with all your heart…

But in the end…

They forget you…

They forget you.

And even after they do…

You never forget them…

It hurts.

I felt tears stinging the back of my eyes, but I refused to drop down and cry. I swore long ago, I would never shed another tear for him. Ever.

I continued marching down the corridors and hallways to my room. My sanctuary. Maybe all I needed was a little sleep to help clear my head right now.

~~~~

"Quick! Call an ambulance! The boy's dying!!!" A tall, middle-aged man yelled, carrying a small blue-haired boy in his arms. Blood was dripping freely down his face as his led stuck out in odd angles.

"Uncle Hiwatari, let me come too!!!" A small girl, a year younger than the small boy trailed, holding onto the man's shirt in desperation. 

Soon after, ambulance horns began to sound and the boy was placed onto a white stretcher and into the ambulance with his father and the small girl. It was a blur of memories after that. 

"Mr. Hiwatari, your son will be fine. He gave us quite a scare though. Loss some blood. But he should be fine with proper bed rest for a while." The doctor said, coming out of the emergency room. Mr. Hiwatari smiled and thanked the doctor as he went in the room to see his son. The small brunette followed him inside and peered at the sleeping little boy.

"Is he…dead?" She said in a hushed tone, tears streaming silently down her face as she clutched the bed railing.

"No. He's fine." Mr. Hiwatari said softly back, stroking the little girls long black hair in a soothing motion.

The little girl smiled at this and laid her head beside Kai's as she stared into his peaceful face as he slept. She slowly closed her eyes and sighed before falling into listless sleep beside him.

~~~~

My eyes blinked open as I sat up. I was thinking about him again. Why can't he even give me just one seconds peace of mind??? Must he constantly haunt my every thought?!

I sighed and got up. I dozed off while I was lying on my bed just a moment ago. 

I wonder if Kai ever had these kinds of dreams before? Did my memory torment him like his was tormenting me? Was he like me at all? Did he care for me at all?

I closed my eyes and crossed my arms in dismay.

I just had to stop thinking like this! It would drive my sanity away if I didn't. 

I approached a small cabinet to my left and took out pieces of cloth and some needles, also a bundle of thread. I might as well do something to keep my mind busy before it started wandering off to HIM again. I got a scissor and started cutting up some cloth.

I might as well use this time to make my costume. I knew Voltaire was too stuck up to provide one for me and Kai…well, he couldn't care less about me anyway.

~~~~

The days passed by like nothing at all. I hardly ever saw Kai or Voltaire around the house anymore…which is more than I could have wished for.

My happiness subsided though because today was the day of the Hiwatari's masquerade party.

I tried in vain to cover how nervous I was beginning to feel, but soon it would be time for me to get dressed and mingle with all the rich brats my lord Hiwatari had so graciously invited.

As it came to pass, the sun was setting over the horizon as all of the household servants peered from the large windows down to the black limos in the drive as people in formal dresses came marching up the front steps and into the house. I watched with them.

"Ohhhh. Look at that one. Doesn't that look nice?"

Meliana addressed me, pointing towards a young man in some sort of tuxedo. His face covered with a dark mask. She turned and was shocked to still find me there.

"What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be getting ready too?" She said, ushering me on. I stared at her and gave a faint smile.

I had no choice. The others also began turning to look at me so I left before the whole staff was at my heel, telling me to go change.

~~~~

I took one nervous glance at the mirror. I had my long hair down in slight waves of ebony. I held my white demi-mask to my head and took one last glance at myself before leaving the safety of my room.

The sky was now midnight blue as the sun completely vanished from sight. I strolled down the hall to the big room the Hiwataris used for parties. I peered in through the double front doors and glimpsed the mass of people inside and the noise they were emitting.

I was, I decided, more nervous than I looked. This was my first formal party. Voltaire had never ever invited me to any of his gatherings save for this one. And of all the parties he threw, this seemed to be the biggest one.

I couldn't do this. This was just too much. I concluded, watching the other young people far to the left around my age. I had never spoken to anyone near my age before. Except for…Kai.

I watched them joke and laugh with each other. Voltaire had been right all along. This was not my side of the world. I didn't belong here. 

I turned my heel, ready to bolt back to my room.

Suddenly, a hand took my own in a firm but not harsh grip. I wheeled around and found myself staring at the same teenage boy we saw stepping out of his black limo a few minutes ago. A black mask was now covering his face, but not his flaming red hair. 

"Where do you think you're going, Venus?" He said, smiling at me apparently taking notice to my costume. My god! D-Did his gaze actually linger on my chest or was it just my imagination??? I hid my feelings and smiled up at him politely. 

"I was invited, and you?" I countered, gritting my teeth as I realized he was still holding my hand. He threw back his head and laughed.

"I was too. What a coincidence." He replied, his smile widening as he placed my hand on his arm formally. I frowned at this and desperately wanted to pull away and slap that arrogant smile right off the boy's face! Besides, I was more worried about what Kai would think if he saw me going in with this guy, who I didn't know at all.

He led me into the large room adorned with rich tapestries and golden chandeliers and candelabras. I would have made a more vivid memory if I hadn't been forced to squeeze in and out of the mass of bodies on the dance floor. 

He stopped just as we reached a couple of seats to the side of the room. He bowed slightly as she motioned me to be seated. I complied as he let go of my hand.

"May I get you something to drink, Venus?" He asked gallantly.

I wanted to say he may as well get lost, but I willed against it because I had to be polite more than because I wanted to be nice. 

"Yes, thank you." I said instead. 

As he went off to get me something to drink, I whirled around in the opposite direction, hoping to distance myself from him as much as possible.

In my hurry to get away, I collided with someone and almost knocked myself to the floor. I quickly recovered, afraid it might be that redheaded boy, when instead I found myself staring into endless pools of crimson.

"You…" He seethed silently, taking hold of my hand.

I winced, immediately bracing myself for any violence this one boy could evoke. I was taken by surprise as he lifted my hand to his lips and said softly.

"Would you like to dance?"  

I couldn't find a voice to reply, so I nodded instead. I finally found the courage to look up at him for the first time this whole night. Kai stood in front of me in a black suit. The collar was unbuttoned and his scarf was gone, but it was replaced with a flowing black cape. He looked so much like Satan, without the devil horns. A black half mask held tightly in his other hand.

I was amazed at how different he looked. He just seemed so…urbane compared to the others. It also made me realize how different I was from all of the people here.

Suddenly, the somber music stopped and all the young couples started moving towards the dance floor. The music was soon replaced by a jovial waltz. He took my hand and put it possessively on his arm as he led me to the dance floor.

He took my hand and placed it on his shoulder as his hand slid around me waist. He guided me effortlessly through the swirling waltz with ease while I only concentrated on making sure I followed the steps right, because I was painfully aware of the curious glances all the other young couples were shooting our way.

"Rena, if you will only look up at me, you will see that I am gazing down at you in a fond way any other person could not possibly mistake as bored indifference. If you keep trying to memorize the shape of my collarbone, I will stop looking at you and begin looking very bored and disgusted. Now look up at me and smile." He said softly to me. 

I could have sworn he was almost gentle. I looked up at him and gave a reluctant smile. He smirked back.

"Much better." He stated as he twirled me away and back to him. 

"I feel so…out of place here." I said, admitting for the first time how I really felt.

"Why?" He asked, staring intently at me.

"Everyone seems to be watching us and…" I trailed off as he threw back his head and laughed. I glared at him. What was so funny about that?

"They're not watching _you_. They are watching me and trying to figure out if it really was you who cajoled me into this waltz." He laughed. I couldn't help but smile at his arrogant joke. 

"Are they still staring?" He asked almost tenderly. 

"No." I smiled back up at him fondly. 

I could feel his grip on my waist tightening as he held me closer. I leaned my head on his chest as I looked out the window, firecrackers from a nearby festival creating a beautiful show amidst the black star streaked sky.

The music stopped suddenly as everyone gathered around the windows to admire the fireworks. We still stood there, gazing into each other's eyes. 

Kai was so close to me now. Or lips nearly touching. It was another second after though, his head dipped down. For a moment I almost thought he was going to kiss me…

A sigh escaped my lips as I looked down. The fireworks subsided and the jovial music begun again. I might as well enjoy my night with him. After all, he'd be gone right after this final waltz. 

**TBC (To be continued)…**

*****************

**Authors Ending Notes:**

Bet I surprised you there, right? Anyway, please tell me how this went. I think I was rushing quite a bit though. I should've put more…emphasis on the redheaded dude. Anyways, please review me and tell me how it was!!! Nothing god to say here anymore so, bye and see you in the next chapter!!!


	7. Eyes on Me, Farewell for Eternity

Once and Always 

**Disclaimers: **I don't own any of the characters, except for Rena of course. The song _Eyes on Me _is copyright of_ Final Fantasy VIII, Squaresoft._

**Author's Notes: **I'm back with chapter seven! The dreaded chapter seven. *sighs* Oh well. I didn't think I'd go on this long with this story, seeing as angst isn't my forte. I guess it turned out well enough though…got good reviews and all. Thanks you guys!!! 

Also, this will also be the last chapter of _Once and Always._ I really hope you guys loved the story, have enjoyed and all. 

I'm dedicating this chapter to you!!! My faithful kind readers and reviewers! Thank you very much for ushering me to continue! Please read, review, and enjoy this too.

**Warnings: **The last chapter is in her point of view, other than that…nothing in this chapter. Probably torrents of tears by you somewhere at the end. Maybe. But, happy reading anyway. Enjoy!

By the way, [_Italicized words-song lyrics_] {Printed words-her narration}

**Chapter 7:**

**______________________**

**Eyes On Me, Goodbye forever**

_I never sang my songs on the stage on my own…_

I looked back one last time at the house I would never again see. To all the memories it held me. To all the tears and the pains…

I was leaving it all behind now.

It didn't matter to me if he remembered me.

All that mattered was that I could keep all the memories of him with me. I didn't need him to remember for me, as I though I did before.

_I never said my words, wishing they would be heard._

I walked out the long path leading to the main gate, not looking back. Refusing my urge to take on last glance back, for I knew I would probably never get to see this house or the people in it ever again.

I would never see Kai again.

Tears were starting to sting at the sides of my eyes, but I blinked them away. No tears, no regrets. That was what I promised myself.

I reached the gateway and couldn't help myself. 

I looked back one last time. I choked back the sobs that were threatening to spill. I held back my tears. Knowing I would never be able to come back.

Knowing I would never get to say all the things I wanted to say.

All the things I'll never say.

I tore my eyes of the house and stepped out the gate, a little surprised to see it was open. 

I walked outside and someone caught my hand. He pulled me aside and I was caught staring into crimson pools of unmasked sorrow. It was Kai. I gave a small smile up at him and said, not able to stop the slight quiver in my voice.

"I'm leaving."

_I saw you smiling at me, was it real or just my fantasy?_

He looked the same as always. Stoic and unfeeling. It made me wish I didn't say anything. Maybe he truly didn't care what I did. After all, he never showed any sign of caring. Except for that one night. 

That one night.

I shoved his hand away and continued walking. Pretending I didn't care. After all, he couldn't see I was crying. For the first time in so long. 

_You'd always be there in the corner, of that tiny little bar…_

I walked nonstop for almost a mile, not taking notice to another set of footsteps echoing my own. 

"Do you really think you can pretend you don't care?" A voice sounded from behind me. I was not startled or surprised. I hastily swiped my tears away and glared back at him.

"Go away and stop following me. I don't need you to give me advice or anything if that's what you think you're doing." I yelled unintentionally back. I didn't want this to get emotional and make another scene in front of him. I've had enough of that. 

"Why are you running away?" he persisted. I folded my hands behind my back, knowing he would probably try to grab them again and force me to admit what he was saying was true. 

It wasn't true. 

He didn't know me. I was wrong to think he would understand me just because we knew each other well before. It was different now. And I accepted that. I didn't want him to remember me. I want him to forget.

_My last night here for you, same old songs, just once more. _

"I am not running away. I am not afraid anymore." I said in a slight monotone, looking him straight in the eye. He flinched slightly, as if I'd just hurled a painful insult at him. I continued in an even voice. 

"Kai, I need you to understand. I know you more than you can think. I've always waited for you to come back home and tell me the things I wanted to hear. The promise you made but didn't keep." 

He looked dumbstruck at what I was saying, but I looked away and stared off into the horizon. 

"I thought I needed that before. I though I needed to hear you say that to me again, just like old times. But now I realize you don't have to remember me. You didn't need to tell me things I wanted to hear. And I'm perfectly okay with it now. That's why I'm leaving. I need to leave." I finished and turned my heel.

"Please understand." I muttered and started walking again. 

My last night here with you? Maybe yes, maybe no… 

He didn't try to follow me this time. He stood there, staring at my back as I was leaving.

I gave up trying to understand why it had to happen this was a long time ago. I just hadn't realized it sooner. I just want to get away and forget this ever happened. I just wanted to find my family. My brother. 

I really didn't need Kai Hiwatari to feel safe or anything.

Because I could do it myself now. 

_I kind of liked it your way, how you shyly placed your eyes on me._

"Wait."

I turned and gave him one last glance in a silent farewell. I couldn't bear to say it somehow.

"You should know something before you go." He began oddly, as if he was using all of his willpower just to look cool and aloof and as if he couldn't care less. Maybe he didn't know his eyes were telling me things he really wanted to say. Feelings he never showed.

"What?" I said softly. 

Did you ever know? 

"You should know. I'm going to follow you all the way if you leave." He finished oddly and turned his back on me for no reason I could tell.

_That I had mine on you._

Then it hit me. 

It was his way of letting me know he would miss me…

I smiled at his back and stepped closer. I hesitated and when he didn't budge, I wrapped my arms around him tight as if I didn't want to let go.

Knowing if I didn't do it now, and let him know how I really felt, I'd never get to.

Ever.

He tipped his head up and stared up at the sky as I dipped my head downward to the floor. I felt his hand gripping mine as I hugged him tighter still.

_Darling so there you are, with that look on your face._

_As if you're never hurt._

_As if you're never down._

_Shall I be the one for you?_

_Who pinches you softly but sure._

_A frown in shown then,_

_I will know that you are no dreamer…_

I let go as he pulled back too. My heart seemed to be pounding in my chest. I found my voice and forced the words out, tears streaming freely down my face.

"Goodbye Kai. I'll miss you." I said in a choked, constricted voice.

He looked at me for the first time and he looked almost akin to the time he was crying long ago, in his room. Where I stood next to him. I knew I would not be able to do that after today.

He forced a smile at me.

"I'll miss you, Ciara Rena." He said, giving me a slight bow forward.

I was about to turn my back for the last time when he took me by surprise and planted a kiss on my lips. 

I was frozen on the spot because I was too shocked to move a muscle. I also felt his hands pulling me closer to him and the fierce command he was saying in his kiss. He lifted his lips a fraction of an inch and said in a vicious whisper. 

"Kiss me back."

And slowly, as he bent his head once more, I placed my arms around his neck and did just that. 

_So let me come to you,_

_Close as I want to be…_

_Close enough for me,_

_To feel your heart beating fast._

_And stay there as I whisper_

_How I loved your peaceful eyes on me._

I kissed him back with all the things I'd never say in my mind. Wanting to tell him how I really felt about him all this time. 

_Did you ever know?_

It went on for a few minutes before I let him go and pulled away. I was still crying as I smiled back up at him. Silently telling him I love him.

_That I had mine on you…_

"You know," I began, still smiling as he stared at me. "It's been a long time since I cried like this. In fact, it feels like I've been crying a river these past few days with you." I half-teased as I reached out to touch his cheek on last time.

I turned my heel and walked away now. 

I was done saying everything I needed to say. 

I didn't have any more regrets. 

I didn't have any more tears to shed.

And I didn't have Kai to love anymore.

I closed my eyes and continued on. Away from all the things I had loved and lost as a child and as a human being. Leaving it all behind with the one person I knew I loved and will always remember.

Darling , so share with me, your love if you have enough… 

"I'll never forget you, Rena." He said softly behind me, almost startling me with his closeness and with the familiar words he said. The words I thought I wanted to hear. And it hurt me to realize I still did.

Your tears if you're holding back, or pain if that's what it is… 

"I'll never forget you. And I will always be with you. I promise." He finished, speaking so close to me I could feel his breath behind me, fanning my neck.

_How can I let you know, I'm more than the dress and the voice…_

With that he turned his own heel and headed back as I went my way.

_Just reach me out then; you will know that you are not dreaming._

And that was the last I ever saw of Kai Hiwatari. The one I have loved since my childhood years. The one I still love now. And the one I will always love in my years to come. 

I have also made my promise. Years ago.

Do you remember?

I will never forget you Kai Hiwatari.

I will always be with you.

I promise.

Now and forever.

Once and always.

I love you.

_Darling, so share with me_

_Your love if you have enough. _

_Your tears if you're holding back _

_Or pain if that's what it is._

_How can I let you know?_

_I'm more than the dress and the voice _

_Just reach me out then,_

_You will know that you are not dreaming._

Finish 

*******************************

**Author's Ending Notes:**

I was crying when I finished at the end. Well, maybe because I was listening to the song while I was writing it. Hahahaha. Anyway, yes. This is the end. I would like to thank all my reviewers. Thanks for giving me great suggestions for her name. And your reviews really made/will make my day. Thank you, all of you. Every single person. Please tell me how this chapter went. Yes, I am once again telling you to review! Yay! 

And I say again, thank you in advance! All of you. Hope you enjoyed my work as much as I enjoyed writing it for you. Well, if all goes well, I might be back with the sequel, _Remember When. _But it's not final and I'd still have to see. Thank you all again and I hope to see you all in my other stories too. Bye for now.

With all my love,

-Yumi Night- 


End file.
